Children grow at their own pace
I was a teacher before I was a parent. As a teacher I knew that 8 year olds learnt certain skills. When I had my own children this knowledge was further expanded. I needed to respond to each of my children in different ways. Not only were they different ages they were also very different to each other.
Children's brain architecture
Just like a house needs a strong foundation to hold up the walls and ceiling, so a child needs to develop strong early foundation skills. As children get older other skills are built on top of the early ones. That's why parents and grandparents and early childhood teachers are so important in the early years of a child's life.
Children have different skills at different ages
There is a great difference between the emotional development of a three year old and an eleven year old.
A three year old may be developing an understanding of how he feels. He starts to realise that he can feel anger and sadness and happiness.
Whereas an eleven year old already knows about these feelings. But because she is changing physically into puberty she may be very moody. She is learning how to control her emotions in a more grown up way.
Your child is an individual. She has her own birthday and has developed her own personality. Even though she may be in her early years, she has had experiences that no one else has had. Her strengths and abilities help her function in her own special way.
You're not a bad parent if you don't get along with her. She's not a bad child if she doesn't understand you.
At times I looked at my children and didn't know who they were. One day they were three years old holding my hand and the next they were off to school holding their friend's hand. I soon realised that was because they kept changing and growing.......fast! I decided to be a 'good parent' so I tried to keep up.....not always successfully.
Parenting is learning
The fact that children are always growing means that we as parents are always learning, whether we like it or not. Here's a website to make it easier raisingchildren.net.au. This website is for Australian parents and is full of great information